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jesse's avatar

This is the first thing that The One Percent has posted that's got me a bit frustrated. If we are talking about transition-related healthcare in terms of "effective treatment" it begs the question of what exactly we expect hormones and surgeries to do for a person psychologically, and what constitutes "damage" in that arena.

The vast majority of the trans people I know do not think of gender-related healthcare in these terms, but rather in terms of bodily autonomy, where a gender-related diagnosis is a necessary evil to be able to exert desired control over the shape of one's body. It's not comparable to cancer treatments because it's not a "treatment" for anyone but a tiny number of people whose distress is extreme-- trans people have leaned on "I need this or I'll die" rhetoric even where it isn't accurate to every individual because there are so many hurdles between simply allowing us to do with our bodies as we please.

The primary lack of trust is between patients and clinicians because of a history where "because I just want to" is not seen as a good enough reason to transition, and between children and parents who believe they are incompetent to make this specific decision-- as if any other decision made by or on behalf of a child is not equally as "life-changing and irreversible". Everyone clutches their pearls over hormones and top surgery in a way that we don't for, say, letting children risk traumatic brain injuries playing football, or deciding whether to teach them another language, or raising them in church.

When I started testosterone at 21, I personally did not know for sure if hormones were going to "solve" anything for me-- I didn't know if testosterone would cure my dysphoria, let me "pass" as a man at least some of the time, if it would even effect me in the ways I was hoping for (or if it might change my body in ways that might distress me more than what I was already working with). I couldn't afford a gender therapist and didn't think one would help anyway, so I talked to trans friends instead (most of them my own age and, yes, on Tumblr) and the general advice was merely that transition is a trust fall; hormones only do what hormones can do, and "fixing you" is not on that list. But you can transition if you feel like it, and you can move at whatever speed you like, and if it sucks, you can stop! And I simply decided that, whatever came of it, I would more gladly cross that bridge of "regret" when I came to it than spend my life wondering about what could have been.

As it turns out, starting testosterone was one of the best things I have ever done for myself, one of the few big decisions I have been 100% certain I was correct on, even though I had no way of knowing that at the time. I obviously can't (and don't) promise that anyone who takes the same trust fall will be so lucky, but this way of discussing transition ahead of time-- as an expression of agency in itself, a validation of my right to make choices for my own future-- was highly effective for foreclosing on the very possibility of regret for me. This sort of framing is basically nonexistant in the cacophany of discussion about trans children because we already presume that children are incompetent to make their own decisions this way, and it loads all kinds of baggage onto adults to likewise justify why transition must be something other than what it is: a choice about one's future which is *always, necessarily* both reasoned and limited.

I think Jules Gill-Peterson (Histories of the Transgender Child) and Andrea Long Chu (My New Vagina Won't Make Me Happy) are the only people I have seen who openly advocate that the possibility of regret (or the failure to "cure" something) should not stop anyone from transitioning, even though it's maybe the most consistent attitude I have seen among the millennial generation of Tumblr Trans Kids that everyone loves to roll their eyes at. The use of children, autistic people, and people on the internet as euphemisms for people whose agency should be questioned and limited, and the inability to talk about transition in terms of bodily autonomy, are consistent problems in reporting-- it's why people are mad at the New York Times and the Atlantic, and why this piece kind of throws me off. I expected The One Percent to already be conscious of all this and not fall into hand-wringing about what young people decide to do with their own lives.

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Cassandra anonymous's avatar

Methodical and useful statement on how we got here and how to unpick the stalemate. Clinicians, researchers and activists take note.

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